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Contestant number 1, I believe first impressions last forever So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house And have dinner with me and my family, tell me What you'd do to make that first impression really stick Let's see, well I'd have to think about it I might show up in a tux but I doubt it I'd probably just show up naked like I always do And look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti I pinch her limpy ass and tell her get the food ready Your dad would probably start trippin' and get me pissed I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fuckin' lip It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother I'd pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother I'm steady starin' at your sister, I'll tell you this You know for only 13 she got some big tits After that, your dad would try to trip again And only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin After your mom does the dishes and the silverware I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear Now let's meet contestant number 2 He's a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak Who works for the dark carnival He says women call him stretch nutz Sharon, let's hear your question I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotion A man who expresses himself in his own special way Number 2, if you fell in love with me Exactly how would you let me know?
First thing, I could never love you You sound like richy bitch yo, fuck you But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care By takin' all these other motherfuckers outta here I'd go through your phone book and wack 'em all Then find contestant number 1 and break his fuckin' jaw (What?
) Anyone who looked at you would have to pay I'd be blowin' fuckin nuggets off all day I'd grab your titties and stretch 'em down past your waist Let 'em go and watch 'em both spring up in your face I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can, get ya naked And hit it like a cave man Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin' As you spit it all out I rub your back and grab Your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack Well, it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing With sensitivity, Sharon, it's a tough choice so far Sharon, let's have your last question and see Which one is gonna win the rights to your neden Okay, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me At the same time, tell me, how would you each Get my attention and what would your pick up line be Whoever's the smoothest wins Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar and tell you That I can't believe how fucking fat you are I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake Fuck that, you'd be jackin' me quick I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick And then to get your attention in a crowded place I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face Yeah, freak her with your nuts, yo that'll get her Tell her that she's fat, yeah that'll work even better Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap shit you don't want He's mad whack, I walked into a bar and there he was Standing on a bucket tryin' to fuck it It was a big fucking smelly ass farm llama Damn dawg, how ya gonna dis your mama?
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(That Girl) So we walked her to her house and she opened up the door It was a heart-shaped bed in the middle of the floor She pushed me on the bed and then stripped in bed In between her legs was real real wet So I grabbed her by her thighs and I moved up truly She jumped off the bed and said, "Don't touch my booty, don't touch my booty, cause' I won't touch you, don't touch my booty cause' its not the thing to do." Wo Oo Oo O Oh!
(That Girl) So we bailed out her house just to get something to eat We saw a friend named Patty walkin down the street Patty turned around as we yelled out her name She dropped to a knee and began to sing Wo Oo Oo O Oh!
(That Girl) Sally is a girl that likes to play And if you want some lovin' Sally is okay She has a different fellow every day of the week Two, or maybe three just to make sweet Sally wants a man she can call her own And sixty seven hundred she can call on the phone Sallys never tired and shes never alone All Sally wants is a fellow with a broom Wo Oo Oo O Oh!
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