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" In an emergency a jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra.Everything went fine through the first movement, when she had some really hair-raising solos, but in the second movement she started going improvising madly when she wasn't supposed to play at all.

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" A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? " "Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I In New York City, an out of work jazz drummer named Ed was thinking of throwing himself off a bridge.

But then he ran into a former booking agent who told him about the fantastic opportunities for drummers in Iraq.

The agent said "If you can find your way over there, just take my card and look up the bandleader named Faisal--he's the large guy with the beard wearing gold pajamas and shoes that curl up at the toes." Ed hit up everyone he knew and borrowed enough to buy transport to Iraq.

These jokes are a continually-growing collection, and unfortunately, I can no longer remember which jokes I heard from whom.

If you have ever told, emailed, or otherwise communicated to me a music joke, thank you. " Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint: "Write your repertoire." "Haven't I seen your face before? "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. He picked up his instrument and bow, and turned his attention to the conductor. After a couple of weeks, they agreed each to take an afternoon off in turn to go and watch the matinee performance from the front of house.

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